MONTY PYTHON'S FISH LICENSE SKETCH

I was going to publish this post on 4B's page but I've finally decided to do it here so everyone can enjoy it as much as I do:

Monty Python was a British comedy group that created the influential Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series.

The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.

The Fish Licence sketch, which you see here, is part one of a two-part segment of the popular British television series, Monty Python's Flying Circus.This sketch was not only shown in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 23, it appeared on their album - Another Monty Python's Previous Record'.
The cast:
PRALINE 
John Cleese 
CLERK 
Michael Palin 
SINGER 
Eric Idle 

In it Eric Praline, played by John Cleese, takes on the role of the put-upon customer who, when seeking to obtain a licence for his pet "'alibut" named Eric, has difficulty explaining to the clerk (Michael Palin) how all pets should be licensed. The pets he mentions are:
Eric the halibut
Eric the cat
Eric the dog
Eric the fruit-bat
Eric the half-a-bee
This is one of the three appearances by Eric Praline, along with the Dead Parrot sketch and a brief appearance as a link the 5th episode of the second series, "Live from the Grill-o-Mat".

The clerk repeatedly calls the customer a 'loony', to which the customer repeatedly replies by making reference to other people who kept odd pets. When the customer tells the clerk that he has a cat license the clerk requests to see it and the customer produces a dog license form with the word dog crossed out and cat written in crayon, when the clerk points this out the customer replies that the men from the cat detector van (a parody of the TV detector van), which comes from the Ministry of Housinge (That’s how it is spelt on the van). The man said he paid 60 quid for the cat license and 8 guineas for the fruit bat (Eric the fruit bat).

Enjoy!

This next song followed the routine called the Fish Licence. One such pet is half a bee. The song relates a tragic yet heartwarming tale, stemming from an accident on one summer's afternoon.

The lyrics raise philosophical questions as to the existence or not of half a bee: "Half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be. But half the bee has got to be, vis-à-vis its entity - d'you see? But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?". The piece ends with a reference to the distinguished English philosopher Cyril Connolly.

The full script:

Praline: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish license, please. 

Postal clerk: A what?

Praline: A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?

Praline: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish. He's an halibut.

Clerk: What?

Praline: He is an halibut.

Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?

Praline: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.

Clerk: You must be a loony.

Praline: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady show jumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!

Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A license?

Praline: Yes!

Clerk: For a fish.

Praline: Yes!

Clerk: You *are* a loony.

Praline: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, I've got a license for me pet cat Eric.

Clerk: You don't need a license for your cat.

Praline: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!

Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat license.

Praline: Yes there is.

Clerk: No there isn't.

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: What's that then?

Clerk: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in, in crayon.

Praline: Man didn't have the right form.

Clerk: What man?

Praline: The man from the cat detector van.

Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.

Praline: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

Clerk: What cat detector van?

Praline: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

Clerk: Housinge?

Praline: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.

Clerk: How much did you pay for this?

Praline: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.

Clerk: What fruit-bat?

Praline: Eric the fruit-bat.

Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?

Praline: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.

Clerk: No he didn't.

Praline: Did!

Clerk: Didn't!

Praline: Did, did, did, did, did and did!

Clerk: Oh all right.

Praline: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish license?

Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.

NB: The TV Version continues.....the album version continues below 

Praline: Then I would like a statement to that effect signed by the Lord Mayor. 


(This next part is not on the youtube video because it belongs to the album version)

Praline: In that case give me a bee license.

Clerk: A license for your pet bee.

Praline: Correct.

Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?

Praline: No.

Clerk: No?

Praline: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.

Clerk: You're off your chump.

Praline: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.

(The song:)

Singer: A one, two, a one two three four!

Praline (sings): 
  Half a bee, philosophically,
  Must, ipso facto, half not be.
  But half the bee has got to be
  Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
 
  But can a bee be said to be
  Or not to be an entire bee
  When half the bee is not a bee
  Due to some ancient injury?
 
Chorus: La dee dee, one two three,
  Eric the half a bee.
  A B C D E F G,
  Eric the half a bee.
 
Praline: Is this wretched demi-bee,
  Half-asleep upon my knee,
  Some freak from a menagerie?
  No! It's Eric the half a bee!
 
Chorus: Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
  Eric the half a bee.
  Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
  Eric the half a bee.
 
Praline: I love this hive, implore ye-ee,
  Bisected accidentally,
  One summer afternoon by me,
  I love him carnally.
 
Chorus: He loves him carnally,
  Semi-carnally.
 

Praline: The end.

Clerk: Cyril Connolly?

Praline: No, semi-carnally!

Clerk: Oh.

Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)

If you liked this, you'll find more sketches here,  Monty Python's Youtube Channel.

NURSERY RHYMES

Nursery Rhymes are traditional songs for children in many English speaking countries. All British and American children learned their mother tongue singing  London Bridge Is Falling Down, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Humpty Dumpty... to name a few. I don't think there is anything similar in our language: We do have El Patio De Mi Casa, El Corro De la Patata and other traditional songs but I don't think we have as many and they aren't nearly as important as Nursery Rhymes.

These songs belong to their popular culture and we find many references to them in films, literature and music. Shrek is full of them: Remember  the three blind mice? They  have their own nursery rhyme:

Alice in Wonderland has also references to Nursery Rhymes (that you can also find in the soon to be released film by Tim Burton): Humpty Dumpty is there.

Learning Nursery Rhymes is a great way of not only learning the language but also learning about their culture. If you want to know more, you can find loads of songs for you to learn on this website.

I'll leave you with a Nursery Rhyme Full of Relatives ( for those in 4th year):

This is the house that Jack built.
This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cat that killed the rat
That ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the horse and the hound and the horn
That belonged to the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

TWO SONGS CELEBRATING WOMEN

There are many songs celebrating women that I could have chosen for women's day. It was hard to make a decision but finally these are the two songs I've chosen:

You gotta be fortunate
You gotta be lucky now
I was just sitting here
Thinking good and bad
But I'm the kinda woman
That was built to last
They tried erasing me
But they couldn't wipe out my past
To save my child
I'd rather go hungry
I got all of Ethiopia
Inside of me
And my blood flows
Through every man
In this godless land
That delivered me
I've cried so many tears even the blind can see
Chorus:
This is a woman's world.
This is my world.
This is a woman's world
For this man's girl.
There ain't a woman in this world,
Not a woman or a little girl,
That can't deliver love
In a man's world.
I've born and I've bred.
I've cleaned and I've fed.
And for my healing wits
I've been called a witch.
I've crackled in the fire
And been called a liar.
I've died so many times
I'm only just coming to life.
Chorus
My blood flows
Through every man and every child
In this godless land
That delivered me
I cried so many tears even the blind can see
Chorus

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes 
I'm exposed 
And it's no big surprise 
Don't you think I know 
Exactly where I stand 
This world is forcing me 
To hold your hand 
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me 
Don't let me out of your sight 
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite 
So don't let me have any rights 

Oh...I've had it up to here! 
The moment that I step outside 
So many reasons 
For me to run and hide 
I can't do the little things I hold so dear 
'Cause it's all those little things 
That I fear 

'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be 
'Cause they won't let me drive 
Late at night I'm just a girl, 
Guess I'm some kind of freak 
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes 

I'm just a girl, 
Take a good look at me 
Just your typical prototype 

Oh...I've had it up to here! 
Oh...am I making myself clear? 
I'm just a girl 
I'm just a girl in the world... 
That's all that you'll let me be! 
I'm just a girl, living in captivity 
Your rule of thumb 
Makes me worry some 

I'm just a girl, what's my destiny? 
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb 
I'm just a girl, my apologies 
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me 
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison 

Oh...I've had it up to! 
Oh...I've had it up to!! 
Oh...I've had it up to here!

EVERYBODY HURTS

Searching for a video of the song to use on my blog I came across this recently released cover by many artists.
Some of the biggest names in UK and American music have joined forces to record a cover of the REM classic "Everybody Hurts", to raise money for charities supporting the relief efforts in Haiti. The final lineup of artists includes Mariah Carey, Jon Bon Jovi, Robbie Williams, Kylie, Rod Stewart, Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke, Miley Cyrus, Take That, Susan Boyle, Joe McElderry, Cheryl Cole, JLS, Mika, Michael Bublé, James Blunt, James Morrison and Westlife. The single will split all proceeds 50/50 between DEC (Disasters Emergency Committee) and The Sun newspaper's "Helping Haiti' appeal.
It will make us think.

HELLO EVERYBODY!

While I'm preparing my next classes, I'm listening to some "good" music and thinking of you ;). And just because I'm in a good mood now (unlike this morning) I'm posting a song for you to listen to and learn a bit of vocabulary at the same time.
There have been lots (and I mean a lot)of covers of this song, the most popular by The Blues Brothers but this is the true original by the great (in every sense) Solomon Burke.

It goes something like this (because the song changes every time):
[introduction]
Everybody needs somebody
Everybody needs somebody to love (someone to love)
Sweetheart to miss (sweetheart to miss)
Sugar to kiss (sugar to kiss)
I need you you you
I need you you you
I need you you you in the morning
I need you you you when my souls on fire

Sometimes I feel
I feel a little sad inside
When my baby mistreats me
I never never never have a place to hide
I need you

Sometimes I feel
I feel a little sad inside
When my baby mistreats me
I never never never have a place to hide
I need you you you
I need you you you
I need you you you
I need you you you
I need you

You know people when you do find that somebody
Hold that woman, hold that man
Love him, hold him, squeeze her, please her, hold her
Squeeze and please that person, give em all your love
Signify your feelings with every gentle caress
Because its so important to have that special somebody
To hold, kiss, miss, squeeze and please

Everybody needs somebody
Everybody needs somebody to love
Someone to love
Sweetheart to miss
Sugar to kiss
I need you you you
I need you you you
I need you you you...

Enjoy!

MY WEEKEND IS ALREADY HERE (ALMOST)

So this week is almost over and I know I've been a little impatient with you and maybe a bit disappointed too. Perhaps it's because I would have liked more support from some of you. Well, We haven't been our best but I'll try to be more understanding next week.
In the meantime, for those of you who read my posts, I want to share a song I love with you.
It's called Use Somebody by The Kings Of Leon and it won the record of the year award at this year's grammys. I hope you like it.



The lyrics:

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see

I WISH YOU A HAPPY AND PEACEFUL PEACE DAY

On January 30, schools celebrate the day of Peace and Nonviolence.
To celebrate it in class we're going to work with the song Where Is The Love? by the Black Eyed Peas.
In this anti-war pacifist anthem, The Black Eyed Peas lament on various worldwide problems. Many issues are discussed: terrorism,U.S. government, hypocrisy, racism, war, intolerance, greed...
Some view this song as an anthem against the War on Terror and the 2003 invasion of Iraq since it was released shortly after the invasion began.

The Lyrics:

"Where Is The Love?"

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)

The song with Spanish subtitles:




Unfortunately, these words still ring true today. A lot has changed since Martin Luther King jr delivered his speech "I have a Dream" but unfortunately not enough.
I have a dream too: I dream that our children will get to see the change complete. I dream of the day when people everywhere are treated equally; when it won't matter where you are born or who you are born to. A day when every child has the same opportunities and the same rights wherever they are and when they have a chance to grow into happy citizens of the world.


Martin Luther King's dream:



WHAT IS YOUR DREAM? Please comment.

New Poll: voting ends next Thursday, January 28

I have added a poll to know which song you would like to listen to (and sing) for Peace day.

The “School Day of Non-violence and Peace” (DENIP), founded in 1964 and also known as World or International Day of Non-violence and Peace, is a pioneering, non-state, non-governmental, non-official, independent, free and voluntary initiative of Non-violent and Pacifying Education, which is now practised in schools all over the world and in which centres of education, teachers and students of all levels and from all countries are invited to take part.

It advocates a permanent education in and for harmony, tolerance, solidarity, respect for human rights, non-violence and peace.
It is observed on January 30 or thereabouts every year, on the anniversary of the death of Mahatma Gandhi. In countries with a Southern Hemisphere school calendar, it can be observed on March 30 or thereabouts.
Its basic message is: “Universal Love, Non-violence and Peace. Universal Love is better than egoism, Non-violence is better than violence, and Peace is better than war”.

You can listen to the songs on youtube by clicking on the titles:

Seven Seconds

One Love

Where is the love

Heal the world

Give Peace a Chance

What's going on

Why can't we be friends?

As my first post I'm going to recommend a song I'm listening to at this very moment (Spotify is such a great invention.) There is a new version by Florence and the Machine in this week's British charts but I prefer this older one: You got the love by The source and Candi Staton.

Here's the lyrics to the song:

Sometimes I feel like
Throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying
Lord I just don't care
But you've got the love I need
To see me through

Sometimes it seems that
The going is just too rough
And things go wrong
No matter what I do
Now and then I feel
That life is just too much
But you've got the love
I need to see me through

When food is gone
You are my daily meal
When friends are gone I know
My saviour's love is real
Your love is real

Every once in a while
I say Lord I can't go on
Every once in a while
I get to feeling blue
Every once in a while
it seems like I am all alone
But you got the love
I need to see me through

Occasionally
my thoughts are brave and friends are few
Occasionally
I cry out Lord what must I do
Occasionally
I call up Master make me new
You've got the love
I need to see me through

Sometimes I feel like
Throwing my hands up in the air
I know I can count on you
Sometimes I feel like saying
Lord I just don't care
But you've got the love I need
To see me through

And here's a video of the song on youtube, enjoy!