MONTY PYTHON'S FISH LICENSE SKETCH

I was going to publish this post on 4B's page but I've finally decided to do it here so everyone can enjoy it as much as I do:

Monty Python was a British comedy group that created the influential Monty Python's Flying Circus, a British television comedy sketch show that first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series.

The Python phenomenon developed from the television series into something larger in scope and impact, spawning touring stage shows, films, numerous albums, several books and a stage musical as well as launching the members to individual stardom. The group's influence on comedy has been compared to The Beatles' influence on music.

The Fish Licence sketch, which you see here, is part one of a two-part segment of the popular British television series, Monty Python's Flying Circus.This sketch was not only shown in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 23, it appeared on their album - Another Monty Python's Previous Record'.
The cast:
PRALINE 
John Cleese 
CLERK 
Michael Palin 
SINGER 
Eric Idle 

In it Eric Praline, played by John Cleese, takes on the role of the put-upon customer who, when seeking to obtain a licence for his pet "'alibut" named Eric, has difficulty explaining to the clerk (Michael Palin) how all pets should be licensed. The pets he mentions are:
Eric the halibut
Eric the cat
Eric the dog
Eric the fruit-bat
Eric the half-a-bee
This is one of the three appearances by Eric Praline, along with the Dead Parrot sketch and a brief appearance as a link the 5th episode of the second series, "Live from the Grill-o-Mat".

The clerk repeatedly calls the customer a 'loony', to which the customer repeatedly replies by making reference to other people who kept odd pets. When the customer tells the clerk that he has a cat license the clerk requests to see it and the customer produces a dog license form with the word dog crossed out and cat written in crayon, when the clerk points this out the customer replies that the men from the cat detector van (a parody of the TV detector van), which comes from the Ministry of Housinge (That’s how it is spelt on the van). The man said he paid 60 quid for the cat license and 8 guineas for the fruit bat (Eric the fruit bat).

Enjoy!

This next song followed the routine called the Fish Licence. One such pet is half a bee. The song relates a tragic yet heartwarming tale, stemming from an accident on one summer's afternoon.

The lyrics raise philosophical questions as to the existence or not of half a bee: "Half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be. But half the bee has got to be, vis-à-vis its entity - d'you see? But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?". The piece ends with a reference to the distinguished English philosopher Cyril Connolly.

The full script:

Praline: (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish license, please. 

Postal clerk: A what?

Praline: A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?

Praline: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric fish. He's an halibut.

Clerk: What?

Praline: He is an halibut.

Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?

Praline: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.

Clerk: You must be a loony.

Praline: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady show jumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!

Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A license?

Praline: Yes!

Clerk: For a fish.

Praline: Yes!

Clerk: You *are* a loony.

Praline: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, I've got a license for me pet cat Eric.

Clerk: You don't need a license for your cat.

Praline: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!

Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat license.

Praline: Yes there is.

Clerk: No there isn't.

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Praline: What's that then?

Clerk: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in, in crayon.

Praline: Man didn't have the right form.

Clerk: What man?

Praline: The man from the cat detector van.

Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.

Praline: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

Clerk: What cat detector van?

Praline: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

Clerk: Housinge?

Praline: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.

Clerk: How much did you pay for this?

Praline: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.

Clerk: What fruit-bat?

Praline: Eric the fruit-bat.

Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?

Praline: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.

Clerk: No he didn't.

Praline: Did!

Clerk: Didn't!

Praline: Did, did, did, did, did and did!

Clerk: Oh all right.

Praline: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish license?

Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.

NB: The TV Version continues.....the album version continues below 

Praline: Then I would like a statement to that effect signed by the Lord Mayor. 


(This next part is not on the youtube video because it belongs to the album version)

Praline: In that case give me a bee license.

Clerk: A license for your pet bee.

Praline: Correct.

Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?

Praline: No.

Clerk: No?

Praline: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.

Clerk: You're off your chump.

Praline: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.

(The song:)

Singer: A one, two, a one two three four!

Praline (sings): 
  Half a bee, philosophically,
  Must, ipso facto, half not be.
  But half the bee has got to be
  Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
 
  But can a bee be said to be
  Or not to be an entire bee
  When half the bee is not a bee
  Due to some ancient injury?
 
Chorus: La dee dee, one two three,
  Eric the half a bee.
  A B C D E F G,
  Eric the half a bee.
 
Praline: Is this wretched demi-bee,
  Half-asleep upon my knee,
  Some freak from a menagerie?
  No! It's Eric the half a bee!
 
Chorus: Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
  Eric the half a bee.
  Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
  Eric the half a bee.
 
Praline: I love this hive, implore ye-ee,
  Bisected accidentally,
  One summer afternoon by me,
  I love him carnally.
 
Chorus: He loves him carnally,
  Semi-carnally.
 

Praline: The end.

Clerk: Cyril Connolly?

Praline: No, semi-carnally!

Clerk: Oh.

Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)

If you liked this, you'll find more sketches here,  Monty Python's Youtube Channel.

23 APRIL, WORLD BOOK DAY

23 April: a symbolic date for world literature for on this date and in the same year of 1616, Cervantes, Shakespeare and Inca Garcilaso de la Vega all died. It is also the date of birth or death of other prominent authors such as Maurice Druon, K.Laxness, Vladimir Nabokov, Josep Pla and Manuel Mejía Vallejo. It was a natural choice for UNESCO's General Conference to pay a world-wide tribute to books and authors on this date, encouraging everyone, and in particular young people, to discover the pleasure of reading and gain a renewed respect for the irreplaceable contributions of those who have furthered the social and cultural progress of humanity.

The idea for this celebration originated in Catalonia where on 23 April, Saint George's Day, a rose is traditionally given as a gift for each book sold. 

To celebrate books and reading on this day I want to share a poem with you:

IF: A FATHER'S ADVICE TO HIS SON by Rudyard Kipling

What makes a boy into a man? ( and may I add, What makes a girl into a woman?)

Courage.

Confidence.

Patience.

Integrity...

For more than one hundred years, this classic poem has inspired readers to reach for the best in themselves.

Here's a video of the poem read by Tom O'Bedlam, taken from his  Youtube Channel: SpokenVerse.  I hope he doesn't mind my using it here now. I strongly recommend his channel to everyone who's learning English and likes good literature. It's a pleasure to listen to him.

And now, for those who need a little bit more motivation, the same poem read by Federer and Nadal:

The Spanish translation  

Si (Rudyard Kipling)--------------------


Si puedes conservar la cabeza cuando a tu alrededor
todos la pierden y te echan la culpa;
si puedes confiar en tí mismo cuando los demás dudan de tí,
pero al mismo tiempo tienes en cuenta su duda;
si puedes esperar y no cansarte de la espera,
o siendo engañado por los que te rodean, no pagar con mentiras,
o siendo odiado no dar cabida al odio,
y no obstante no parecer demasiado bueno, ni hablar con demasiada sabiduria...

Si puedes soñar y no dejar que los sueños te dominen;
si puedes pensar y no hacer de los pensamientos tu objetivo;
si puedes encontrarte con el triunfo y el fracaso (desastre)
y tratar a estos dos impostores de la misma manera;
si puedes soportar el escuchar la verdad que has dicho:
tergiversada por bribones para hacer una trampa para los necios,
o contemplar destrozadas las cosas a las que habías dedicado tu vida
y agacharte y reconstruirlas con las herramientas desgastadas...

Si puedes hacer un hato con todos tus triunfos
y arriesgarlo todo de una vez a una sola carta,
y perder, y comenzar de nuevo por el principio
y no dejar de escapar nunca una palabra sobre tu pérdida;
y si puedes obligar a tu corazón, a tus nervios y a tus músculos
a servirte en tu camino mucho después de que hayan perdido su fuerza,
excepto La Voluntad que les dice "!Continuad!".

Si puedes hablar con la multitud y perseverar en la virtud 
o caminar entre Reyes y no cambiar tu manera de ser;
si ni los enemigos ni los buenos amigos pueden dañarte,
si todos los hombres cuentan contigo pero ninguno demasiado;
si puedes emplear el inexorable minuto
recorriendo una distancia que valga los sesenta segundos
tuya es la Tierra y todo lo que hay en ella,
y lo que es más, serás un hombre, hijo mío.

HAPPY EARTH DAY, APRIL 22!

I've been feeling so down lately that I almost forgot about Earth day! How could I? In this day and age Earth Day should be the most important, most celebrated day of the year.

Actually, every day should be Earth Day:  We need to look after our planet every day if we are to survive the next 20 years(?).

So this is just a little reminder:

Don't waste, recycle, walk or cycle, reuse, think twice before you buy something (Do I really need it?)...

Go to the official Earth Day website to make your contribution and add your Act of Green.

Be Green!

STUPID LAWS AROUND THE WORLD

This is a link to a website where you can find all sorts of stupid laws from all over the world. If you think such laws only exist in the USA, think again: People are stupid regardless of their nationality. But even though these laws are real and on the books, people are also intelligent enough not to make them effective. Enjoy them and don't take them seriously.

 In Missouri, It is Illegal To Drive With An Uncaged Bear (Caged Bears Are OK).    

In North Dakota, Beer And Pretzels Cannot Be Served At The Same Time In Any Bar Or Restaurant

In Connecticut, A Pickle Is Not Officially A Pickle Unless It Bounces

NURSERY RHYMES

Nursery Rhymes are traditional songs for children in many English speaking countries. All British and American children learned their mother tongue singing  London Bridge Is Falling Down, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Humpty Dumpty... to name a few. I don't think there is anything similar in our language: We do have El Patio De Mi Casa, El Corro De la Patata and other traditional songs but I don't think we have as many and they aren't nearly as important as Nursery Rhymes.

These songs belong to their popular culture and we find many references to them in films, literature and music. Shrek is full of them: Remember  the three blind mice? They  have their own nursery rhyme:

Alice in Wonderland has also references to Nursery Rhymes (that you can also find in the soon to be released film by Tim Burton): Humpty Dumpty is there.

Learning Nursery Rhymes is a great way of not only learning the language but also learning about their culture. If you want to know more, you can find loads of songs for you to learn on this website.

I'll leave you with a Nursery Rhyme Full of Relatives ( for those in 4th year):

This is the house that Jack built.
This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cat that killed the rat
That ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the horse and the hound and the horn
That belonged to the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That killed the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.